Q & A

When were you happiest?
- Tomorrow

What is your greatest fear?
- Yesterday

What is your earliest memory?
- Breakfast

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
- Scattered showers

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
- Flash floods

What is your most treasured possession?
- Lemon fresh thick bleach

What would your super power be?
- The ability to knit echoes

What is your most unappealing habit?
- Light drizzle

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
- Wanking at funerals

What is your fancy dress costume of choice?
- A slightly melancholy pipe

How would you like to be remembered?
- As possessing an unmistakeable pattern of black and white, a slender upcurved black bill and long pale blue legs

What is the closest you've ever come to death?
- Sex

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
- Footfalls echoing in the memory

Who would play you in the film of your life?
- The Second Severn Crossing

What is your favourite journey?
- To bed; for whatever reason

What objects do you always carry with you?
- A nun in handcuffs and seven cuckoo clocks

What was the last object you lost?
- An untethered lake