Sunday, March 21, 2010


In the beginning there were witches and volcanoes.

On the first day the witches breathed into the volcanoes and created man and woman out of witch breath and lava.

On day the second the witches said “Let there be joy” and there was laughter, music, singing and orgasm.

On day three the witches said “Let there be good things” and there were giraffes, cheese, fine wine, sex, the countryside, olive oil, exquisite fabrics, bird song, books, stone circles, flirting, tunnels, Coffin Joe, spiders, Spike Milligan, dogs, freedom, sausages, Scooby Doo, beds, rimming, kinky boots, space exploration, health, simulacra, griffins, blueberries, fragrances, figs, love, owls, telepathy, teleportation, television, Telly Savalas, dreams, flying, invisibility cloaks, weather, bracken, buzzards, stars, vinegar, language and girls with long dark hair.

On Thursday the witches came down from The Mountain and reading from the tablets of molten lava they hollered “Squid are marine cephalods of the order Teuthida, which comprises around 300 species. Like all other cephalopods, squid have a distinct head, bilateral symmetry, a mantle and arms. Squid, like cuttlefish have eight arms arranged in pairs and two longer tentacles (The only known exception is the bigfin squid group, which have ten very long, thin arms of equal length.)”

On the last day of the working week the witches took an extended lunchbreak and engaged in boisterous, drunken merrymaking that continued deep into the night.

Saturday, the witches declared, would be the day of rest.

On the seventh day the witches decided that there could not exist good things without bad things and so created bibles, barbed wire, police, prisons, armies, knives, bombs, Popes, money, intolerance, reality tv shows, repression, haemorrhoids, Jimmy Carr, diarrhoea, the Daily Mail, business, Tories, priests and baldness...


Blogger Merl Fluin said...

Male hairy full of grace!

4:39 PM  

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